$$$ and middle fingers

Today I called a financial counselor to make an appointment because I am terrible with money. I'm a smart lady, I have a master's degree, and I'm very organized at work, so it kind of doesn't make sense that I suck so bad at managing my finances. I guess I don't care enough about money, and I've always assumed I would never be wealthy because it just is not super important to me and rich people make me nervous. Plus I'm a sucker for a low-wage, high demand, soul-sucking, low-status non-profit job, which probably doesn't help things.  My tarot reading with Miss Renee informed me that I need to deal with my money problems pronto, and I'm not trying to piss off the universe - so I'm doing this.

I have to keep track of everything I'm spending. Oddly enough, I am not a frivolous spender. I spend very little on rent, food, clothes. I don't have a car. I don't have cable. My hobbies are not expensive. I don't get regular hair cuts, buy make up, get brazilians, or collect batman paraphernalia. But I owe my soul in student loans. Yes, all that schooling that was supposed to be lucrative doesn't do me much good when it comes to getting a fat paycheck. Hey Society, remember that social contract I made with you that I would get a master's degree and serve my community, and you would get me a job that paid enough so that I could afford to live somewhere that is not infested with mold? Well, Society, you failed me. My poor, stupid, naive ass took out a (small) mortgage in loans to pay for 6 years of school and now I make less than my boyfriend, who is a barista. (Though, to be fair, I do get free health insurance and I don't have people up my ass to make sure their shots are half-caf. That has to be worth at least a buck fifty.)

Clearly this is not the saddest story ever. And it's not that I mind living simply. I like it. But I hate being 31 - THIRTY FUCKING ONE - and still living check to check.

So, financial advisor it is. And maybe I will learn how to negotiate, consolidate, and do some alchemy. Or maybe they'll just tell me to get a second job.